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1.
A knife with a handle longer than most blades, and a thin, long, staight-edged blade. Used for hacking away at foliage in front of the weilder.
Hello, my name is Jason Vorhees, I wear a hockey mask, and I am a machete-killer addict
af Gumba Gumba 12. april 2004
 
2.
spanish word for fucking big ass knife
dude isnt that fucking big ass knife you have a machete
af vayne arelius 13. februar 2010
 
3.
a long knife, used for hacking your way through the jungle. also the most awesome zombie killing tool ever.
Shit, theres zombies outside. wheres my machete
af ltdelicious 3. maj 2009
 
4.
Something you pull on 10 guys wanting to jump you in the parking lot of a BP. Usually with an 18 inch blade and a thick hard plastic handle.
*Van pulls up and a gaggle of people jump out*
Jesse: Are you the fuckers I am supposed to whip the shit out of?
Me: HEY! Fuck you guys you are bringing 10 guys?!!? Well, this makes it even Jesse, Me, and this machete
*Van pulls away with quite a quickness*
af P. Kaltenbach 11. januar 2008
 
5.
A chunk of sharp metal fitted with a handle that would cause any poor bastard a world of pain
did you know jason has a machete
af RET 21. september 2004
 
6.
Machete is the most bad ass movie ever created. It is about Machete, and ex-Federale who is a legend to all Mexican-Americans, being betrayed by a company who hired him off of the street to assassinate Senator John McLaughlin. All out war is declared and Machete's Mexican-American army kick some fucking balls off. Also includes Lyndsay Lohan's tits.
Guy 1-Dude! Did you see Machete?

Guy 2- Hell ya! I jerked off so hard to Lindsay Lohan's tits!
af skown 18. februar 2011
 
7.
when a man is about to ejaculate, he pulls out of her anus and in a chopping motion slaps the girl in the face as he is ejaculating.
hey dude, i got pissed off at your mom yesterday so i went ahead and gave her a machete.
af fat cobra 27. april 2007