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4.
Pretty much everyone who bashed metal here has probably only listened to false bands like Slipknot. Most of the definitions about how metal sucks were extremley biased. Because I'm bored, I'm going to dissect this bullshit definition.

"Can you sing about something else besides Satan?"
Groups like Nuclear Assault and Sacred Reich sang about the government and war. In fact, I don't even think those bands sing any songs that go like "HAIL SATAN!". There's other bands who sing about that too. I've also heard many other metal songs about ancient Egypt, medievel times, etc etc (most notabley with Iron Maiden)

"Can you sing at all?"
Rob Halford can hit a 5th octave. Nuff said. Oh and I also suggest Iron Maiden, Edguy, Dream Theater, Hammerfall, Blind Guardian, Helloween...

"Can you not be such goth fucktards?"
Goth fucktards? Leather, spikes, and chains are hardly gothic. Gothic metal is it's own genre, and I'm not referring to "z0mg im so gawthik" bands like Slipknot and Korn, I'm talking about bands like Type-O-Negative, Paradise Lost, etc.

"Can you focus more on music and maybe write some non-retarded lyrics and maybe get someone who can actually sing to sing them?"
Again, using Iron Maiden as an example, alot of their songs are about history, and they aren't the only ones who do so...and refer to the list of bands above who can actually sing.

"Can you make it a little more normal and a little less like goth vampire shit?"
Refer to what I said about gothic metal

"Can you make it a little more closer to rock & roll?"
I hear alot of influences from early rock and roll in groups like Raven, Motorhead, Anvil, Tygers Of Pan Tang, Exciter.

"Can you go five seconds without mentioning Satan?"
Refer to my first answer.

"^And why the fuck do you do that anyways in the first place?"
Bands who DO sing about Satan do it for the same effect as a horror movie. Sure, some if it is cheesy as hell (like Venom for example), but that doesn't mean theres anything wrong with enjoying it.

"Do you even know the difference between something that sounds like shit and noise and mud vs. something that actually sounds good?"
That's a little subjective now...
Before you bash heavy metal, look more into it...
af Paul The Metal Maniac 10. oktober 2006
521 126
 
57.
True music that describes the inner self in everyone. In other words, KICK ASS music.
Metallica, Disturbed
af S2 17. november 2003
45 101
 
58.
The most fucking hardcore music ever.

If you don't listen to Heavy Metal, get fucked, die, and burn.
Person #1:Jimmy, im gonna go listen to MetallicA, and start doing some headbanging shit

Person #2: Rock on !! \m/
af Mr. Ownage 17. juni 2004
48 105
 
59.
Heavy music
NOT Disturbed
Metal lives on, punk is dead
af jawshh 6. marts 2004
47 104
 
60.
best music ever : awesome guitar bass and drums

DISCLAIMER: LYRICS SHOULDNT BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY!!!!!! (except for metallica, disturbed, some slayer, and some other bands)
metallica and slayer r the best bands ever
af metaljunkie 22. november 2003
48 105
 
61.
One guy bangs out power chords on his tuned down guitar while the other who's an awesome lead player does a wicked awesome guitar solo while any old monkey bangs on the drums and a special kind of asshole screams the stupidest shit you've ever head in your life!

A typical metal singer sounds like this:

Picture puking your guts out in the toilet while being raped in the ass with a crowbar or two-by-four or some other painfully blunt instrument.
THAT my friends is heavy metal.
af OMG RAWR<LOL 8. maj 2005
71 131
 
62.
the most fast paced, adreniline exploding, agressive form of rock (or any other music) theres ever been. SLAYER holds the title for greatest gevay metal band ever and always will ecause SLAYER KICKS ASS
tommy twonuts: dude got any heavy metal...
Bil: I got slayer
Tommy:ROCK ON!!!!!!!
af FLINGY 25. juni 2003
35 96
 
63.
An alternate form of expression of the dark/black arts through music.
Judas Priest is awesome Heavy Metal
af Sliptallica 28. februar 2005
23 88