41 definitions by Brucester

Acronym for the Other World Kingdom. Pronounced o.w.k -a real life place in Czech Republic.

A state where women rule men. An OWK is any similar organised activity.
We rented out a massive secluded manor house for the weekend and had ourselves an OWK.
af brucester 16. september 2006
hwank or hwankers. Invented by Tourettes sufferer Pete Bennett of Big Brother 7 fame. Word is identical to wank or wankers but is intentionally poorly disguised by a cough, thus absolving the user of any responsibility for using an expletive.
"Grace is getting booed, they're booing Grace - hwankers"
Using the word 'wankers' he would have been insulting the people he wanted to vote for him, but 'hwankers' - no problem.
af brucester 1. september 2006
The act of wiping your cock clean on the back of the living room curtains.
You have just arrived home late and have furtively drilled your new girlfriend on the living room floor of her house whilst the rest of the family are asleep upstairs. The kettle is on and she has crept upstairs to the bathroom to have a piss and muck out her meat wallet. You are desperate to dry your cock......the kitchen is tidy, even you wouldn't use a tea towell!! no kitchen roll handy and no downstairs loo......It HAS to be a zaffle with the back of the living room curtains.
af brucester 1. september 2006
You have just woken up after a shag, you need a piss and you also need to get rid of the used condom still on your cock, you also need to make certain that the condom is totally disposed of.........enter the POWER FISH, holding the condom still in place you empty your bladder into it, then precisely positioning yourself so that the baloon of piss is directly over the deepest part of the pan, then let go immediatly with both hands. A 'bonus power fish' is sometimes achieved whereby the payload drops with such force that it vanishes round the U bend immediately without even flushing.

The science behind a bonus power fish is still poorly understood but may have something to do with the shape of the particular pan and also the volume of piss in the skin willie. BPF's still only account for 5% of Power Fish.
Re-enters the room....<Thinks> Fucking dynamite Power Fish.

She <thinks> wierd cunt, sounded like a power dump, I wonder if his arse is prolapsed?

af brucester 13. september 2006
Pronounced 'idge' a suffix attached to almost any word. Invented in 1988. Whilst doing exhibition work we were asked to, "Go and put up the 'signage' to which we replied,
"And after that we are going to have some drinkage some clubbage and a bit of kebabage" Since then adding 'age' to the end of a word has spread impressively but now seems to be on the decline.
Kippage, drinkage, chatage, swimage etc etc
af brucester 10. september 2006
"Treasure" brought up from shipwrecks on the seabed by scuba divers.

For "Treasure" read - mainly bits of brass rubbish. For "Brought up" read - furiuosly chiseled off against the clock. For "Scuba Divers" read - thieving pikeys.
For "Seabed" read - murkey depths of cold water with visibility of two metres.

For Spidge there is a heirachy of value, disregard all gold, jewells and other fantasy land nonsense the real wreck treasure chart goes something like this:-

1= Ships bell
2= Telegraph / telemotor
3= Compass binnacle
4= Helm
5= Steam whistle
6= Nice brass Nav or deck lights
7= Portholes
8= Crockery & cutlery etc

Consolation prizes for the lower ranks of the air diving one tank numpty:-

Rubber soles from dead seamans shoes, unidentified piece of brass, crockery fragment, lead shot, hooked up fishing weights, pieces of diving equipment dropped by other novices.

All of the quality items have to be reported to the Receiver Of Wreck who finds out if you are allowed to keep the stuff. The remaining detritus is used to decorate your fireplace until you get married when the wife "accidentally" puts it out for the dustman.
"Dived the Lanfrac last weekend"
"Hur hur, find any gold"
"Er, yes actually! a solid bar of it, unfortunately it was a Leigh Bishop trip so in fact it had been placed there and was lead cast and sprayed gold to look like one"
"Hur hur - Fools Spidge!"
af Brucester 27. juni 2007
Alt. name for a fart. An extremely accurate onomatopoeia for a very short ripping stuccatto type fart. So accurate it follows the word exactly. GR - The rasping start, OU - the classic change in tone. T - the abrupt end as the sphincter slams shut. GR OU T
Did you hear that? Someone grouted during prayers.
af brucester 10. september 2006

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