A seductively elusive male, characterised by nocturnal habits and inconsistent contact. His sexual habits are likely promiscuous, as these woodland
critter men enjoy uninhibited roaming across many urban lady gardens
In courtship, Hedgehogs
will ward off any overly emotional or overweight advances with sharp spikes
and seething disinterest. However, after being drugged with appropriate pussy food, many have been known to enjoy a belly rub and may request
their female perform domestic duties
such as making a cup of tea.When Hedgehogs
are found in an anti-social ball (characterised by a protrusion of spiny, venomous complaints from the mouth) an approach is not advised. However, if advancement
is necessary; compliments, gentle head rubbing and Haribo have been used as semi-successful distractions that may lesser the risks of being emotionally lanced.
Despite their independent
and prickly natures, Hedgehogs
are often welcomed into many love life habitats, including: taxis, nesting beds, casinos and nightclub terraces. It has been suggested this is due to their wit and handsome, short legs. Whilst Hedgehogs
dwell alone, they
may be found to emit a distinctive whining
noise via voicemail/text message when separated
from a mate.Natural predators
beautiful, charming females, who find the Hedgehog cute, so smoothing their natural
defences with compliments and not too deep sex.
'Did you see Harriet's face
at the coffee shop today? It was contorted in pain, like it had been
mercilessly attacked by the confusing behaviour of a love interest'
'...She's tried to hug the Hedgehog again'.